Beyond Small Talk

My sweet Atticus,

With the close of the Summer Olympics this month, and the pending presidential election on the horizon, I continue to focus on the “what ifs."

What if we were able to be as amicable with all nations as we are during the Olympics?

What if we genuinely celebrated and accepted differences between races and religions?

What if we rewarded excellence in life (in volunteering, at the work place etc)?

What if we were able to be gracious in defeat, and cheer others in their success?

What if we were able to have logical and reasonable political goals and dialog, with (gasp) less emotionally manipulative messages?

As a nation, we have a few hurtles to turn the what ifs into the why nots.

You are fortunate enough to live in a county in which you are allowed to speak your mind and hold your own beliefs – however, it is a complicated minefield of ideas, emotions and actions and inaction.

People nervously joke about avoiding the big three “volatile” topics of Religion, Race and Politics. Why? Because people become “heated.” Brilliantly somebody (the media?) laid the foundation of misinformation, fear and anger when speaking about one’s beliefs. But why shouldn’t we talk about these things?

“All that is necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke.

Many will argue that evil is subjective, but my point is: we need to have fair (as fair as can possibly be) and honest dialog about our beliefs, and hopefully subsequent actions. Ignoring these topics allows for injustice and mismanagement of national resources and goals.

Let’s tackle the sticky subject of Religion first (I know what you might be thinking – How could I possibly cover such a complex topic in a blog post?). Religion is simultaneously emotional, logical, physical and experienced-based. Many have experienced religion to be exclusionary and hateful. Many injustices have been enacted in the name or religion.

Here are a few tenants I find to be true and just:

1 .LOVE God/Jesus, and LOVE others – simple and beautiful and difficult.

2. Judge myself, and NOT others – I have enough of my own issues to deal with.

3. Tithe to a Church which helps the poor and disadvantaged – I wish the government didn’t have to, more about that later.

4. Attend an organized Church, with a pastor who asks me to be introspective – look at my motivations, my actions and how I use my time.

5. Pray – whether it “works” or not – God is not Santa Claus, doleing out exactly what we want, when we want it. I loath the statement “If God is so loving, why would he let “X” happen.” Life is difficult, often times tragic, but we have the tools to cope and heal. What about all the beauty and blessings? Let’s recognize and relish these when they occur.

Something I find amazing in our country; people have more loyalty, mercy and compassion with their Internet/cable/smart phone provider than they do with religion or God.

A number of times I have screamed out in frustration at the “slow” Internet speeds at our house (and I was even around during the “dial up” days. Ok, so your mom is a dinosaur in your mind nowJ. I feel the anxiety swell to the surface and curse a certain social media outlet when photos don’t upload as fast as they should. When at work, I “cannot” accomplish anything without Outlook, or Salesforce, or other work applications. But I stick with it. I need these things to function. I calm down, hit refresh, or restart the computer.

But God and Religion? The "refresh" button is broken for many.

Many people "give up" on religion if they had a bad experience with a religious person - but when we experience awful customer care at Verizon, we still stick with it. Most people blame organized religion for imperfections, or God for allowing things to happen, but we stick with crappy companies who makes us pay for spotty reception, frozen pages and dropped calls - all because we need it to survive, to communicate. Hmmmm.

Now, the topic or Race...well baby, that sun-kissed skin of yours? Your daddy lent you his DNA to create your golden tone. My Euroblend (your daddy refers to this as "Euromut," hmph) background lightened you up a bit.

Skin color is a funny thing...it is the "outward" package we come in. Your grandparents taught me to accept everyone, and to be colorblind. To be honest, I never even think of your dad's skin color until someone else asks "What is your husband's background?" One particularly dumb (ok, that isn't too loving or accepting...but wait for it) coworker asked "How often does your husband go to the tanning booths to get that color?" Wow.

I have great hope for the future in this country as far as race is concerned - as there seems to be a general acceptance among people my own age. But you will have to be careful of inherited anger in many groups. During my travels I have often been the minority and experienced a small snippet of harassment and "other."

It just so happens I grew up in predominantly white neighborhoods and schools. You want to know why? The U.S. Census for 2012 reports white individuals makes up 72.4% of the country. So to the angry groups of people who feel white people are catered to, or "over-represented"; get over it. I have not received any special scholarships or promotions based on my whiteness - and the fact it, in 2011 (your year) more non-white babies were born in the U.S. than white babies. So the country's demographic is changing.


So where does that leave you? Are you a non-white baby? I guess you can choose whatever you want. As you make your way in the world, I ask you to never use your skin color or origins to perpetrate hate or unfair actions toward others, or accept unfair action against you. Again, one of those multi layered, not-so-easy things to deal with in life. I suppose we will have to cover that one with LOVE and grace, right?! Good boy!

Politics - ok, this is an area in which love and grace can be suspended:) I truly believe in order to see change occur, one must stay plugged into the local government. Always remember, we elect and pay their salary, so they work for us. Make sure your voice is heard, and contact your representative as many times as you feel necessary on issues you feel passionate.

Federal government is another issue. I am currently not impressed with our federal government, nor am I impressed with the weak, whiny and pathetic "national" conversations occurring as I write this entry. I am not an economist, a psychologist, a sociologist or a military leader, however, I am a U.S. citizen and I find it deplorable the amount of money being wasted on campaigns and advertisements full of old-fashioned "smoke and mirrors" tactics. Embarrassing. I will continue reaching out to my local representatives, and believe I will be represented accurately.

I am thankful to live in our great country, in which I can talk about my political views, so why on earth would I not exercise this right? Why would I sit quietly and let government officials make decisions which affect my life? Because I want to ostensibly be polite, and not rock the boat?

Lack of communication leads to abuses of our governments resources. I currently seethe about mismanagement as I hear of a friend's sister-in-law receiving aid from the government for food - for a family of four she was given 3 gallons (GALLONS) of milk and 8 dozen (DOZEN) eggs and three jars of peanut butter for a weeks worth of food? Really? Who is going to reform these programs? Probably not the current people running these programs...it is just a guess! This is certainly a "what if" which needs to be changed with my actions, as well as others' actions.

It is ok to share my beliefs and opinions. As long as I research the topic and convey my thoughts in a level-headed manner, I feel this is a win. Patience is key. Even if I disagree with someone else, even if I am passionate - I strive to listen (not half-listen and have a response ready to go). Of course I am not perfect (shocker, I know, you think your mom is perfect in every way, until I put you in your crib at night:), but I have to stay the course, and believe political dialog should be a part of your life. It isn't a hobby, or a "type of person" (like an athlete or musician) or something you should care about every 2 to 4 years. If you are not involved in the political process, you give up the right to demand or criticize the current condition or outcome of our country. Stay involved!

Well, I will descend from my (bad-for-you-good-for-me) soapbox for now.

Love you baby A!